How old are you, dawg?
I’m twenty three.
Where are you from, originally?
San Diego area, Valley Center. A town north of San Diego.
What was it like there?
I grew up with really rich, preppy people. The whole town was Mormon, pretty much. The girls were slutty and the parties were wild.
Why’d you leave?
Everyone I knew left to go to college, so I was left there by myself. I had to start my new life. It was time to start a new adventure.
What was your plan?
My plan is to go to New York City. I plan to become rich and wealthy.
How will you acquire your fortune?
I want to become a world renown hit man- no- assassin.
What made you decide that you wanted to be an assassin?
Okay…I figured up all the thoughts in my head, and for me, that seems like the best thing to do.
Why would it be the best thing for you?
Because most people are scared to do the things that need to get done in the world. I’m not scared, because my mission on this planet is to create world peace. There’s so many things that need to be dealt with that can’t be overlooked anymore.
Why an assassin though?
Assassin not always meaning killing, but if necessary then yes.
What do you perceive about that type of lifestyle appeals to you?
Me eliminating problems that hold back the future. Also, having money to have nice things like clothes, cars, women, and friends.
Elaborate on that, if you will?
Louis Vitton clothes, tailor made pinstripe suits, silk clothes, all types of silk stuff, silk underwear, silk sheets. I’m gonna get my dog a suit. Cars, nice cars, and motorcycles. Ducattis, Oprillas, houses, guns, and houseboats.
The finer things in life?
Yes, exactly.
So how are you gonna get started?
First, I’m gonna talk to some people. I’ll convince them of a plan.
What people?
People who are interested in creating world peace by eliminating hardship, violence, and hurtfulness.
But how are you going to achieve world peace when you yourself utilize violence?
First off, I’m gonna find all the people who don’t want to cooperate. Then I’m gonna negotiate with them. I’m gonna be a world renown peace maker.
I thought you were gonna be an assassin?
Assassin, in my view, doesn’t necessarily mean killing. It means taking them out of their lives, and trying to change them before it’s too late.
How are you gonna get rich doing that?
By people who are interested in funding me. Cause if I succeed, we won’t need money. I’m just this little guy on this big planet that’s gonna become the future.
Have you ever ate acid?
Never.
Mushrooms?
Twice…three times maybe.
How are you gonna get people to fund you? They’re supposed to just give you money?
Yeah, kinda just like that. Anyone who has money to blow.
I thought you were going to perform hits for the mafia?
Yes, that also. That’s how I will get my spending money. To start out.
How will that work?
When I do my hits, they will put half the money in a Subway bag with a sandwich, a drink, chips, and a cookie. Then when I have completed the job, they will put the other half in the same fashion.
How will you perform the hits?
Silenced PPK. I will shoot them one time directly in the forehead. After they fall on the ground, I will put silver dollars on their eyes.
What is the significance of that?
To pay the doorman to take their body and soul to wherever they go. Like in Boondock Saints.
How did you acquire the name “Cold Cut”?
My first felony offense was for robbin Subway.
Could you elaborate on that please?
I robbed Subway with my little dog, Scrappy.
What did you get?
Two trash bags full of food-meats, bread, cheese, chips, and a soda.
Is that why you’re gonna have the mob guys put the money in a Subway combo?
Yes, for shits and giggles.
What kind of a combo will it be?
Cold cut trio with everything on it.
Lets say one of the people you have to hit has a gun and starts shooting at you. Then what?
The bullets won’t harm me because I’ll be covered in armor. From head to toe.
What if they shot you in your face?
Then I’m hit, huh huh…I’d take one for my cause.
So why N.Y.? Why not L.A., Miami, or Chicago?
I’m gonna start in N.Y. Once I’m known, then I go worldwide. It’s what I think is best for the future. I’m not bringin God into the situation cause Gads fine with me. I know he wants to change up the planet, that’s why he sent Jesus.
Okay,dude……..Whats your next tattoo gonna be?
Some HR Giger shit. Like aliens, predators, and machines. He had this one that’s like badass. Supreme being that’s like hooked up to a machine.
What is your plan for when you get released from prison?
To get started. Get my capital to get what I need to start my…uh….I call it my business. For my plan. To get followers. So we can save the world. Save it from God. I’m not kidding. Talking is worthless, but I have to talk about it to get interest from people that see my point of view.
How do you feel about good luck charms?
I don’t really believe in luck. I’d wear a cross. I just know that I can do whatever I want to. The only thing holding me back is myself.
What kind of cigarettes are you going to smoke when you do a hit?
Oh, Lucky Strike no filters.(Cold Cut rolls a cigarette in bible paper as he answers)
Tell me about the fight you got into during the shakedown?
Okay, there was this smaller white gentleman and he got offended by me. Cause he wasn’t having a good day, so he started punching me. I put up my hands and laughed at him, and that’s when he got even more upset. And he strangled me. They took us to seg.
What about the chick you want to take back to Cali?
If I was to meet one, then I’d take her back to my house. To my home. And take care of her. Only if she liked me and was interested.
What kind of place do you have? And what is she going to do there?
I have a trailer house…a mobile home. She would grow my weed and have her own garden. She would do whatever she wanted to.
Would she have to clean?
Not really, only if she wanted to.
Would she know what you did for a living? How would you explain your lavish lifestyle of motorcycles, houseboats, silk underwear, and the mobile home?
I would own a couple of Subways. That, and I would also be a day trader.
What are the first steps for when you get released?
I’m gonna start working for people who need jobs handled. Dealt with. Like someone that owes somebody money and they’re not payin. All I have to do is, like, go to drug dealers houses. I’ll ask em if anyone needs to be taken out or anything.
Then what?
Then if they say yes, then I’ll do the job.
What if they want to pay you in dope?
That would be okay.
How much crack would you charge for a hit?
Quarter ounce..no…quarter pound.
Then what? Then you have to sell the crack?
Yeah. Then I’ll get professional weapons. Silencers, PPK’s, ninja stars, daggers, and blowguns.
You’re going to use blowguns for your jobs?
Yeah, deadly poisons. You can get tranquilizer darts and fill em with deadly shit, then, “pfft”, hit em in the neck or sumthin.
Have you thought about a cash only policy, maybe perhaps? That way you wouldn’t have to waste your time selling crack.
Cash only, yeah. But if I can’t get cash, then drugs.
What if you end up smoking all the drugs before you sell them?
I won’t.
How are you going to get your first gun, when you get out?
Rob a pawnshop. I’m gonna be like, “hey, can I see this gun?”, make sure everythings intact. Then I’m gonna run out the door with it.
What if he locks the door electronically?
Shit, then I’m loading and shooting.
You don’t think that the pawn shop owner has a gun?
Aw, fuck. He probably does. Then I guess I’m screwed. I forgot though, I already have a gun at my house. A Colt .45.
How are you going to prevent getting captured in such a dangerous business?
I’ll have disguises. Wigs and makeup and shit.
What kind of wigs?
Curly hair wigs, long hair wigs, dread wigs, and a bald cap.
What are you doing during your present incarceration, in preparation for your upcoming career?
Push ups, sit ups, bench press, run like two miles on the track. I don’t need any more head knowledge, I’m already smart enough.
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